#2 - Trans by Nature or Nurture?

In my childhood, I had a rough time. I had harsh parents that didn't express love, they disciplined in a mean way, and I believe my mom did things that accidentally pushed me toward gender insecurity and toward gender unhappiness or dysphoria.

I love my parents, and I forgive them. Life goes on. I don't feel like a victim. I believe all parents do the best they can. Sometimes as parents we just aren't aware of the impact of what we do and what effect that might have on our children. Nurture plays a huge role in how we mature.

Do we love ourselves? How do we communicate? How are our values developed? What are we taught? Are we nurtured and loved or are we abused? Endless family variables affect our being, spirituality, and our world view. The coldness in my home resulted in my internalizing thoughts, feelings, and ideas. I became withdrawn and depressed. I could not talk about or share any feelings or emotions. I sure could not talk about the feeling I had that I wanted to be a girl.

But what about other more inherent factors?

Jeremiah 1:5  “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart.

In this scripture it is revealed to Jeremiah that God knew him and had a plan for him. God knew him BEFORE he was born!. That is simply stunning. God knows who we are and what we are to be. Does that mean that as a transgender, I am becoming the female person I was meant to be? Or did I blindly mistakenly do something opposite of what God intended, and "tweaked" his plan askew?

Did my gender issues arise more from genetic and inborn traits, or did my desire to be female come from nurturing influences? I believe folks can argue themselves in circles about that question.

There have been studies indicating transgender women's brains do indicate a shift toward a cisgender women's. There is likely a natural influence. Is trans by nature or nurture?

I feel like I probably had both genetic and upbringing influences going on at the same time. And the scripture above says there could be clear plan for all of us, or at least God knows what we will do or what we might choose?

I had a bad case of dysphoria and I wanted to be a girl so bad I tried a couple different ways to hurt myself in the 'privates'. I didn't get too far as I don't like pain. But If I was born to be a female, then why was I born in a male body? If God wanted me female, shouldn't I have come out that way to begin with? The born to be idea is an intriguing one for sure, but personally hard to get my head wrapped around. I was born male. At the end of the day, I take responsibility for my actions. I chose to alter my flesh.

What about the de-transitioner? A person undergoing transgender treatment and makes physical changes....and then regrets it? So was that person born to be their new gender? They are not happy and want the old gender back! Yet that would have easily been said about them at the time, that the de-transitioner was becoming who they were born to be, and in the end that turned out to be false? Or maybe there are folks transitioning who shouldn't be?

I believe God knows who we are meant to be, and man does not know with100% certainty.

We do our best to be our best self, and that is all we can do. Man can't know the mind of God or what God's highest and best plan for us is or was.

Romans 8: 28-30

We know that in everything God works for good with those who love him, who are called according to his purpose. For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the first-born among many brethren. And those whom he predestined he also called; and those whom he called he also justified; and those whom he justified he also glorified.

I know God was calling me from my childhood. The question of nature vs. nurture for our gender is similar to pre-destiny vs. free will. We are predestined to be saved but yet we are not robots and we have free will. The topic alone can fill a whole book. I believe the answer to the riddle is along the lines that we have free will, but God made us and knows how we will choose. It is mind bending indeed. Who can know the mind of God?

Romans 9:20-21 "But who are you, O man, to answer back to God? Will what is molded say to its molder, “Why have you made me like this?” Has the potter no right over the clay, to make out of the same lump one vessel for honorable use and another for dishonorable use?"

Here is a fun question. Was my childhood family harsh environment God's way of shaping the direction he wanted for my gender and for my life? Even if I believe nurture is more influential than nature, did God put me in that family because he knew how I would be molded by being there?

Conservatives say trans is mutilation. They don't buy the "born to be" way of thinking. The liberal perspective says transgender are becoming the person they were born to be. Which is right?

Personally, I am unsure exactly what that answer is. Honestly, my brain is inclined to reject the 'born to be' reasoning because I had such heavy environmental influence. I see scripture that says our body is the temple of the holy spirit. Should we then alter it? What is the highest and best answer?

Luke 16:15 - And He said unto them, “Ye are they who justify yourselves before men, but God knoweth your hearts. For that which is highly esteemed among men is abomination in the sight of God.

If I say I was 'born this way', it seems to absolve me of responsibility as I can't really help my nature. Is that self-justification? It could very well be. Jesus calls self-justification an abomination.

God wants us now, every day. He wants our love and devotion. I am a Christian. Female is where my gender landed - no matter how I got there. The question is mysterious indeed, but I cannot justify myself. Jesus reconciles us to himself with his loving mercy, forgiveness, and his sacrifice on my behalf.

If one assumes we are not supposed to alter our flesh, Jesus covers all of my sin, even that one.

I must walk now, as a trans, in the peace and faith of being forgiven, and in the joy of knowing I am saved. I praise God for his great mercy and love.

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Related Posts:

#4 - God Wants You, Lollie Twinkle

#8 - Affirming the Trans